Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
