i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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