Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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