Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
