when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We talked him into tasing himself.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
