That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just googled if crying burns calories
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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