It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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