you would pick up someone in the library
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
