Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
