Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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