Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
