I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
