how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
