these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
