Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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