You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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