ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize