He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
