my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
