he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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