I hate your face
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
