Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
