Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
