I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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