it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
