Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
