I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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