my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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