Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
