We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
