Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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