quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Green mimosas i think yes
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
