Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
