apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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