Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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