no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize