Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
