Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
