Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
