i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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