well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
