Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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