Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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