this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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