It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
