I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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