i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
