yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
