let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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