so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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