I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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