if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
