I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize