the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
