I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
