and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
