They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
