I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
