I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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