just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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