so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
