Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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