Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
