Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
