i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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