Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
