I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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