Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
