C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
