Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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