Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize