i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
