This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
