I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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