Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize