With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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