I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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