I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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