Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
