i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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