I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
