When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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