wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
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