batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
