Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
