Pants 0. Shit 1.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
