hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
