we have officially lost it.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
