I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
