Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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