its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
